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Est.

2015

L.E.S.B.I.A.N.

A g e n c y

Logistics, espionage, science, ballistics, intelligence, and networking

OUR

DIVISIONS

LOGISTICS

Through strategical planning, our department coordinates efficient ways to distribute and obtain supplies, ensuring that our agents are well armed and supported throughout their investigations

BALLISTICS

Our R&D department can make anything from a cardboard box to homing missile launcher with portside and starboard attachments

INTELLIGENCE

Collecting important data through a variety of technological means such as our LESBIAN satellites, drones, and cameras glued to random pigeons

ESPIONAGE

Our team specializes in surveillance with the use of infiltration, subterfuge, and other means to gather intelligence from our targets

NETWORKING

Innumerable connections within our network provides us with the means to assist our clients as well as benefit the organization in the pursuit of our goals

SCIENCE

Full team of doctors, biologists, chemists, botanists, and physicists work in our cutting edge labs making medicines, poisons, compounds, and nuclear bo- I mean fluffy kitten clones

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OUR STORY

We are L.E.S.B.I.A.N. We are a private intelligence gathering agency. We are not affiliated with the government in any way. Our operations are global, and we accept currencies of all forms, no questions asked. We operate discreetly, quietly, and most importantly, professionally. Our operations involve the use of our six main units: Logistics, Espionage, Science, Ballistics, Intelligence, and Networking.

Formed in 2015 as a joke, our operation has expanded rapidly over the course of three months. We saw considerable growth when we added Mike Down the Street to our roster. Since our formation, our agents have seen much action in the field. Operating in the shadows and in plain sight, we have conducted numerous secret missions for our clients.

Our underground headquarters is a state of the art facility with many amenities. Surrounded by seven inch thick titanium lined walls and guarded by a twenty-four hour security team consisting of armed guards, attack dogs, and security cameras, the facility is our fortress and our safe haven.

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